For Kim

[annoying video taking down because... while incredibly awesome... incredibly annoying.]

I invented potahtoes... which are a little better than potatoes... so...

Funniest... thing... ever...

God Bless America

LINCOLN, Neb. - The mystery of one response to a lawsuit against God has been solved. Eric Perkins, an attorney in Corpus Christi, Texas, said Friday he filed a response to the lawsuit from Nebraska State Sen. Ernie Chambers. "It's kind of a turn on 'What would Jesus do?'" Perkins said. "I thought to myself, "What would God say?"

"Defendant denies that this or any court has jurisdiction ... over Him any more than the court has jurisdiction over the wind or rain, sunlight or darkness," according to Perkins' response.

As for Chambers' contention that God made terroristic threats, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization," Perkins wrote that God "contends that any harm or injury suffered is a direct and proximate result of mankind ignoring obvious warnings."

Perkins, who said he is a Christian, faxed one of at least two responses to Chambers' lawsuit. He said while he hopes the lawsuit was just a stunt by Chambers, "maybe his timing has something to do with world affairs. I'd hate to be that person who sat back and did nothing."

The problem of serving God a summons could land the lawsuit in the earthly scrap heap of failed legal actions.

But whether the issue goes before a judge may largely depend on how hard Chambers pushes the issue. The senator isn't asking that notice be served to God, but says in his lawsuit that if he doesn't get a summary judgment in the case, he wants a hearing — "if the court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic, said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody. He said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous.

It's still not clear where a second response from "God" came from. There was no contact information on the filing, which turned up on the counter at the Douglas County Court office, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone were unsuccessful.

© 2007 The Associated Press.

I Heart Pirates

First, thanks to all who help me simma downah.

In keeping with the vibe, here's one of my favoritest jokes.

Once upon a time there was a pirate ship with a noble captain. One day as they were sailing they were attacked by a rival gang of pirates. The captain called to his first-mate "Go, quickly, fetch me my red shirt!"

The first mate did so. Donning his red shirt, the Captain fought valiantly; so bravely in fact, that he inspired his men. Even though they were outnumbered, they drove the assaulting pirates away.

A few days past, the lookout shouted: "Captain, there are three pirate ships on the horizon!". The Captain quickly evaluated the situation, then ordered his first-mate, again "quickly! Fetch my red shirt!" Again, after a heroic battle, the pirates were defeated and they continued sailing.

Another week went by, when without warning, the lookout spotted six ships on the horizon. "Captain!", he said, "there are six pirate ships approaching!". The Captain again instructed his first-mate to fetch his red shirt. And again, victory was quickly theirs.

As the men sat later and drank to their victory, the first mate pulled the captain aside and very discretely asked him, "Captain; when you saw we were being attacked, why did you call for your red shirt?"

The captain smiled and replied, "Well, you see; if I am wearing a red shirt the men cannot see if I am injured and I can continue to lead them with confidence."

The first mate was proud to have such a brave captain.

Many days past, the lookout spotted twelve warships approaching. "Captain! We are surrounded! I see twelve pirate ships approaching!"

The first mate looked to the captain, "Sir, shall I get your red shirt?"

"Not my red shirt! Get my brown pants!"

Stress

Anyone else feeling this? What is up?

Blue Is A Triangle

For all those who need proof, this is why the US has developed into a nation of such international strength and security. (I know, a rare political blog.)

IMPORTANT: PLEASE VIEW CLIPS

Big Gulps, eh?

Whoever gets the above reference gets 1,000,005 hypothetical points (hereby referred to as "hypo-points").

So, time for religious jibberish.

Yesterday at church, a video clip was shown asking seemingly 'random' and 'normal' people questions about "sin": what it was, who sinned?, are any without sin?, does sin bare consiquences?, and blabitty-blah-blah.

RE: "What is sin?"
-"Sin is doing something wrong."
-"I don't think there is such a thing."
-"Sin is doing something different than what you believe."

RE: "Who sins?"
-"Everybody."
-"I cannot say; not my place."

RE: "Are some sins worse than others?"
-"My catholic answer is yes, there are mortal sins, so yes."
-"Yeah, I think killing people is worse than a little white lie."
-"No. Sin is sin."

RE: "Does sin have consequences?"
-"Yeah, it affects your karma (like hitting your finger in a door)."
-"I think it affects the afterlife, but I don't believe in heaven or hell, I think it's different for everyone."
-"Who am I to judge the consequences of my sin? Or of your sin?"

Life in America. Historically, America was built on a very pro-religious (specifically, christian) attitude. Even now, according to several polling sources, around 53% of Americans consider religion to be "very important in their daily lives". At best guess, roughly 44% of Americans 'say' they attend church at least weekly. 25% of America is devoutly religious. One in four Americans is secular. The remaining 50% are mildly interested in religion.

So where- in this society where every other person is assumably religious- has the definition of 'sin' been dropped? At what point did people stop listening, or the Church stop teaching, the meaning of sin?

Sin (sn)
n. Mythology
The Babylonian god of the moon.
[Akkadian Sîn.]

sin 1 (sn)
n.
1. A transgression of a religious or moral law, especially when deliberate.
2. Theology
a. Deliberate disobedience to the known will of God.
b. A condition of estrangement from God resulting from such disobedience.
3. Something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong.
intr.v. sinned, sin·ning, sins
1. To violate a religious or moral law.
2. To commit an offense or violation.
[Middle English sinne, from Old English synn; see es- in Indo-European roots.]

sin 2 (sn, sn)
n.
The 21st letter of the Hebrew alphabet. See Table at alphabet.
[Hebrew în, modeled on în, shin (the following letter).]

sin 3
abbr.
sine
(The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2003. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.)

The idea of sin is the very antagonist to the Christian faith. It is the constant, persistant, and residual sludge one must constantly live in, work around, and rise above. In a world where more and more deviants are accepted (ie, serial killers are "sick", child sexual predators are "chemically defecient", sexual temptations are readily available on the internet or tv, etc), the Church must not exclude or soften the definition of sin from the people. For the Church's sake. For the people's sake. The Church must care more about the quality of lives thier patrons live, rather than focusing on the numbers of bodies in thier seats. (On a side note: does it seem that the Church is becoming more immitative of Hollywoodims?)

Who sins? Everybody. Alot. Forever. Less One.

Are some sins worse than others? Sin divides, in the Christian faith, man from God. With that logic, there is no sin that causes no division. Lies equal murder, lust equal adultary. Our legal system places values on them. Our Creator does not.

Does sin have consequnces? Does a bear poop in the woods? Name one thing in life that doesn't (see, "Butterfly Effect").

I apologize for the length of this. I tried my best to not make it a thesis. (If you want more discussion, please post comments.)

Come back later for "What's up with the Catholic church?"!

Hola!

Ok. Stop the press. Pay attention. I keep hearing crap from everyone about this, but the time has finally come: I'm now a blogger.

So what is this, really? Is this the 21st-century version of my diary? How profound, how real, how intimate, and how trivial are these posts really supposed to be?

My mind is jell-o. It somehow seems everytime I finally feel like I have a good footing beneath me, I step in some gum. When I stop to look at the gum, I get pooped on by a bird. And when I look up to curse the bird, I get ran over by some old granny on her electric grocery-mobile. That's basically been these past several weeks for me.

But enough about that. Let me know what's up, peeps. Show me love. Serious, bow-chicka-bow-wow love.