I Heart Pirates

First, thanks to all who help me simma downah.

In keeping with the vibe, here's one of my favoritest jokes.

Once upon a time there was a pirate ship with a noble captain. One day as they were sailing they were attacked by a rival gang of pirates. The captain called to his first-mate "Go, quickly, fetch me my red shirt!"

The first mate did so. Donning his red shirt, the Captain fought valiantly; so bravely in fact, that he inspired his men. Even though they were outnumbered, they drove the assaulting pirates away.

A few days past, the lookout shouted: "Captain, there are three pirate ships on the horizon!". The Captain quickly evaluated the situation, then ordered his first-mate, again "quickly! Fetch my red shirt!" Again, after a heroic battle, the pirates were defeated and they continued sailing.

Another week went by, when without warning, the lookout spotted six ships on the horizon. "Captain!", he said, "there are six pirate ships approaching!". The Captain again instructed his first-mate to fetch his red shirt. And again, victory was quickly theirs.

As the men sat later and drank to their victory, the first mate pulled the captain aside and very discretely asked him, "Captain; when you saw we were being attacked, why did you call for your red shirt?"

The captain smiled and replied, "Well, you see; if I am wearing a red shirt the men cannot see if I am injured and I can continue to lead them with confidence."

The first mate was proud to have such a brave captain.

Many days past, the lookout spotted twelve warships approaching. "Captain! We are surrounded! I see twelve pirate ships approaching!"

The first mate looked to the captain, "Sir, shall I get your red shirt?"

"Not my red shirt! Get my brown pants!"